Kidder & Chiefy woke up at 07.58am &
breakfast was served at 08.00am, plenty
of time to stagger down & get their
fill. At Kidder & Chiefy's breakfast
table a 8 year old kid was doing the 'Times
cross-word' he was stuck on 7
across, so Chiefy said "it's see my
arse". The pair hit the trail below
Muncaster Fell riding through a
wood of rhododendrons when Kidders rear
wheel let go a spoke with a loud crack,
(Bollocks) Kidder twisted the
offending spoke around a good one & the
pair wobbled on. Riding across a golf
course dodging the balls, called for
some nimble foot work, the pair
complimented some bloke on his nice
golfing kit. (Suits you sir, You Chav)
The pair climbed onto Corney Fell,
only to lose their way & the will to
hack it over a shit load of grief. So
they hit the road & climbed their way to
the top keeping out the way of morons in
cars hell bent on hitting them. The
detour took them down to Beckfoot
& then a cheeky climb along Thwaites
Fell (219m) to a fast downhill
tarmac run into Ulpha.
Pit-stopping at the Ulpha post office
for teas, a rest & to sort their lives
out.
Chiefy barks out the order to move out,
so off they pedal onto Dunnerdale
only to get lost down by the river. A
quick map check & course direction &
they're back on track climbing the steep
road to Stickle Pike (It's
high). The track below Dunnerdale
Fell is spot on, but after a while
it turns into another hill slog up to
White Pike (608m). A easy flattish
track to meet up with the Walna Scar
track comes next & then it's up, up, up,
to the summit.
(Chiefy got fed-up pushing & had a
bash at riding).
A the top the pair resuscitated their
bodies before the downhill run to
Coniston.
Just as the pair were about to set off
downhill, a Ibex 4x4 vehicle come over
the summit, mountain rescue were out on
a training mission. Kidder & Chiefy fly
downhill dodging the boulders, cramps
were setting in as their hands covered
the brakes. At the bottom they headed
for the pub (The Crown Inn). As
normal now two big helpings of pasta &
plenty of the black stuff were order.
(The babes around Coniston ..... very
nice)
Part pissed & full up on pasta the pair
hoof it to the shore line of Lake
Coniston for a dip.
(Yes .. a .. dip)
Now wet & laughing the pair race each
other over Hawkshead Hill (197m)
to the last pub pit-stop in Hawkshead.
Sat outside the pub Chiefy celebrates
his victory over the young pretender
with the last pint of Guinness of the
day.
(Kidder's gracious in defeat, he has
had a lot of practice..!)
The orders are slurred out, so off they
pedal into the night to find the YHA.
Once checked-in the pair head for the
kitchen for a night cap, they just get
the teas in before a member of staff
throws them out.
(Oh well ... it was gone midnight
...!)
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Kidder telling himself
'Pain Is only weakness
Leaving the body'

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